her closet....

i've been thinking about this one all week, one of my favorites......
not too much to talk about today just reevaluating things ..............

there was this ladii at the department store today running frantically around speaking or should i say yelling in spanish Ezra!!! Ezra!!! and pointing in the direction of the dress department and there and then i knew someone lost her kid or the kid was trying to loose her....lol. i remember those days, my favorite place was in the fabric stores hiding under the tables full of bolts of fabric...oh what fun. hell, i didn't want to be there in the first place and had to make the most out of the situation. i immediately thought about those days as a kid and how i thought that it was so much fun....i mean my goal was to try and get into the deepest and fullest rack and the fact that they were long dresses....psst...hell nobody was going to spot me, so i head for the clearance racks cus those are usually the deepest and the fullest and wayyyy in the back. so thinking like a kid, i head towards the back, on one of the racks a few dresses started to move and im down there sifting through dresses, her mom still running up and down the main isle yelling at her husband and calling out her child's name--man....this girl was quick cuz i couldn't find her and was starting to think that maybe she wasn't down there so i get up and move towards the swim department. i guess the urgency she heard in her moms voice, dropped the kid back to reality so she pops out of the clearance dress racks and starts calling for her mother.....

i knew she was in those damn clearance racks....lol.

we use to loose my lil sister all the time......or she would loose us (had to keep a close eye on her, cuz i was the big sis)...we would be going this way, and she would be looking thattaway and would be walking another way....

okay.......so i just found out what that word means..lol. ive seen this word drifting through the readings of blogs and such, always meant to look it up but never remembered to.....neyway i was @ work today and me and my co worker were just frustrated and pissed in how messy and how unorganized the back hall was, i mean we couldn't get stuff in the damn door, and she had said something about a clusterfuck i asked her what it meant, she explained what it was, and i fell out laughing. i love clever words! later i asked my sister if she knew what it meant and she said fucking in small spaces or in corners?...lol, another clever thought, people just kill me.....lol.

hey....never said i was a saint...

sometimes i hate that im not as pushy and as forceful as others, you miss out on a lot of shit hesitating about everything, and i know what it is....its "my ego", and not wanting to fail or not get hurt. now im not saying that im this timid lil girl... but i choose what i say and what i do carefully. aggressive people tend to get things quicker and sooner than others because either they don't care or their not afraid of failure or timing, (either way their whole mentality is....love me or hate me). is there a down side in having a trait like that, knowing when to use it is my question--is it all about timing?............i must say that having a bit of class and charm when you do feel passionate about something can get you where you need to go in the end and i.... believe i got a lil of that....but sometime i wonder if that is not enough. you know?

im always talking about living life to its fullest......but am i?

two weeks ago i had stupidly told my dad that i had to send my laptop back to the manufacture to have it fixed (imma total photo image freak and had lost a lot of imagery due to this) but neyway... everytime i call the house now he is constantly asking me, and wanting to know about my computer and if i got some good protection on it (he is always harping on this subject). i had always thought that the basic protection that you get with your internet connection will do the trick but i found out the hard way.....it don't work like....

so last night im changing my music on my other site and it freakin crashes on me again so now im getting all worried cuz this laptop is my life-like everyone else. i start thinking about the shit that i will need to do on the internet tomorrow and im really getting worried. i felt lost....

still freakinfg out about it, i woke up this morning and called the tech line to get help and im thinking i was going to have to send it in and be without computer access for about a week again...but this didnt even take like 30 minutes. yes had to reboot the whole thing but didn't have much to start with since i had already lost everything 2 weeks ago. neyway...guess what i did after i got everything recovered...thats right, i got the works, spent all morning and most of the afternoon locking my shit up, and i think that im going to order a few more memory sticks just in case( i can fill those sucker up so fast).

my dad can really harp on things for dayssss...weeeks...months....years....but its all with good intentions and i guess that's his way of letting me know that he cares.

oh yeah my moms thinks that all hackers need to be shot ....and taggers too...lol. im starting to agree (except for graffiti artist, i love them.)

i really enjoyed myself today....

there is this mexican restaurant called rose's that everyone talks about out here in town...my associate has been wanting me to go for margaritas there for weeks, she is always raving about their salsa---and has good reason too, (their cheese crips are questionable tho). she finally got me there along with a visitor from a different region. those ladiis are awesome......over 50 and cool as hell.....they curse, laugh, play, witty as hell, intelligent, and don't take no shit....i love it!!! it's very hard to find folk to let down your locks with. i wish our visitor could stay b-cuz she's the balance to our group (and i think she knows it). i could only hope to be like this @ 50......hey.....40 is the new 50.

take a dose of mom and call me in the morning.

this last weekend i had a visitor live in my space for a couple of days. i was sorta fiffy about the whole situation off the bat, i mean for some reason she was gonna be---all up in my space...that meant that i had to hide my contraband, clean...which i don't do as often as id like, clean my filthy car and converse....eeee?/!?.
this weekend was nothing like i expected it to be. that ladii is cool...and is just like me! (sometimes you forget that kinda stuff not having it around all the time) i mean on the weekends i like to chill and most people don't understand that. i have a physical job and weekends are my wind down time, sometimes i just wanna stay at home and watch the food network...which we did all day saturday. this lady is a great cook and i found myself trying to catch every word that came out of her mouth...i think i'm @ that stage where what my parents say is very important to me.
this weekend we talked about everything under the sun. she gave me peaches cut up in slices because she knows that her girls don't like fruit unless its in eatable pieces (and she was right!! the best peach i had in a long time and i hate fruit-except for mangos). we talked about the fact that its okay to adopted, since who knows when i will get married and how its hard to find a dude like my dad(old fashion and a mans man). how she misses her sister who past 8 months ago and is worried about her youngest daughter who needs a kidney. and how she is proud of me and my accomplishments.

i don't think i could have had a better weekend it was a big dose of what i needed--to actually see a part of me in someone else and know that your okay......


(okay,so i am a little long winded....and?)